closing in on a picture

paintingw (1)paintingw (3)paintingw (2)My progress is very slow, (my easle went to a wedding reception at one point to hold a photo of the bride and groom), but I hope to finish up today. I am not really a watercolour painter but I like the fact that it requires less space and time and can be set aside if necessary without lost opportunity. As I said, I am not a watercolour painter, so my work is not very spontaneous and I probably waste a lot of the wonderful aspects of the medium. But now I only ever paint to make gifts. 🙂  I still enjoy the sort of attention it requires. I think it is good for my brain even if my back and hand complain! The orginal photo was by Wilfrid Birnie (s.i.l.)

Me too? Piss off!

I have been walking around feeling lousy because I have been remembering times when I did things I didn’t want to do and times when I didn’t say things that I should have and thinking about all the circumstances surrounding those times and just feeling so awful just because I don’t like to think of myself as a victim even when I was. I think I would rather be a whore than a victim. Then I read this:
and I started to feel better.
Once I knew a man who wanted to go and harass women who were on a “Women Unite, take back the night” march. He thought because they didn’t want him march with them they were being sexist and therefore he had a reason to yell at them and interfere with their march. (I recently listened to an interview with the woman from Pussy Riot who told of a man who joined the band dressing like a woman who was horribly beaten for it and I thought, cool that he did that but typical he got beaten for it.)
The genius of non-violent demonstration is the inclusiveness of non-violence. This man, (and I said nothing to him at the time because I was in love with him and constantly aware that he was smarter than me, like all men, starting with my father) This Man needed only to respect the value of their message or at least their right to express it. Their message was, “We should be able to dress as women (how we like) and still walk safely home. It is not a privilege. Acts of violence are criminal.  Being female in THIS PLACE at THIS TIME is not something we should need to justify any more than any man has had to.” And then it occurred to me, any man who is not a black youth in a hoodie that is. (If you say things like “all lives matter” in response to Black Lives Matter, you are not getting it. If you say, “that is disrespecting the flag”, you are missing it again.
Bending a knee is a non-violent means of making a point. However uncomfortable it may be for those of you who like quibble about anything that might make it seem to be about something else, citizenship is the right of citizens and that includes non-violent demonstration.)
As for all the recent “news” about moguls who abuse their power and intimidate women (and who knows who else) for sex, well why is it getting so much attention right now? And is it going to change things? Is there a nugget of hope here or is it another tittliating story? SEX SEX SEX
In the tape Harvey says, “come on are you going to ruin a friendship for five minutes?” or something and I thought, if only she could have said “this is not about friendship this is about an exchange for sex” and then put a price on it per minute, a million per minute. (No doubt considering the recent press it would have been a great deal for him). I am being facitious of course but seriously, who would be the criminal if she had? She would have been. How insane is that?
It is time to own up to the fact that it isn’t about sex (or even gender though frequently women are the demographic). Sex is a smoke screen, a diversion. This is about control. This is about culture dominated by a small number of powerful people who want a large contingent of people who will do stuff for nothing or next to nothing. It is about unpaid labour and abuse of an entire populice. Women (and others) doing things to avoid violence, to avoid arrest, to avoid losing a promise of financial security, not even “wealth” often , just doing things to avoid being called a WHORE and being rejected even by other women. Meanwhile the collateral benefit goes to those who just shiphon off the gravy that they had to do nothing to recieve except be powerful or perceived as being powerful.
This is the formula: maintain fear, remove autonomy, encourage desention, work them to death and make them grateful to think they are your friends.




To See

The Meaning of Life is to See. ~ Huineng How does one progress in drawing? By making the eye-heart-hand reflex ever more sensitive, so that the hand may become ever more the willing tool of the eye. ~ Frederick Franck Jacaranda seed-pod study VI Drawing is a form of probing. And the first generic […]

via The Zen of Seeing — sub rosa

Dora the Explorer

We didn’t have a map but if we had a map it would have said, “Follow the path along the fence, cross a sea of wood chips in a boat, take the path through the forest, come to a big red number two.” (I didn’t get a picture of it but it was big and red, two things that are very significant to an almost two year old it would seem.)

Why I Do Things

July2107 126I am writing and posting this because a friend laughed out loud and said, “You should put THAT in your blog”.


I have a planter in the front yard. It replaces the tree that had grown there for many years. It was a good tree. It gave the front room shade and the side walk shade and was a good size with a nice Y shape for the average twelve year old to climb and sit in (also the precocious eight year old). But it had to be cut down. It had been attacked by the Ash Borer and for several years had been getting sicker and sicker as the buggers clogged up it’s arteries and starved it. (No Malice Here grrrr)

At the same time my mother had been getting more brittle in her bones (osteoporosis) and more toxic in her blood (renal failure) and though an avid gardener, less and less able to bend and tote and kneel and get up again. (Context here: she was in her 90’s!) I built the planter with the help of F.H. and his brother. Lots of tumble stones made a circular planter high enough for her to sit at and dig and weed whatever flowers she chose to put there.

The brothers did an excellent job. The planter was level and attractive and took away the sting of losing a beautiful tree and to some extent the sting of my mother’s growing lack of autonomy.

-Recent years the roots that remained beneath it have continued to grow and rot. This year with a lot of rain this growing and rotting under the ground has been food for a bumper crop of mushrooms. The other result has been that the stones have gotten wonky.

I got in my head that I was going to “do it right” and then as the summer came and went I convinced myself that there were SO MANY THINGS I needed to buy before I could fix it properly and therefore I couldn’t fix it. Yesterday looking out my basement window at the front of the house I finally realized, “When have I ever done anything properly?!!!” So in the heat of what might be the sort of weather we wanted in August I finally got out there and took the thing apart (well half apart), threw some pea-gravel down that I had for another job I didn’t get around to and put the stones back and it looks fine.

So my new personal slogan is, “Why put off until tomorrow what you can do a half-assed job of today?”

And why not blog about it? The answer to the question, “Why I do things?” is I do things* because why not? Seriously.

*Mostly things that are not immoral, illegal or fattening. 😛




A Billion Tiny Flowers

I have been technology challenged for about ten years.  Before that I felt I could hold my own. Now, age, concussion and recently, ambivalence have led me to the shoals, the place where many older adults find themselves, muttering and cursing and occasionally exclaiming “YuReeek Ha!” as some colourful object washes onto our shoal and makes us happy.

I spent an entire weekend, possibly the nicest weekend of the summer trying to sort out why I could not longer watch television (Star Trek) or googly or putz on the various devices in my home! I must say here, if you are patient with the poor techies they are appreciative. I may not be able to defuse racist Nazis but my Zen practice has taught me to be attentive and patient while on hold.

Mostly I want to have Star Trek, any version, playing while I do my sewing. I could put on the radio but sometimes (gottalovem) CBC radio is just dumb and my stitches get tight while my mind boggles. (Star Trek is often dumb but it is Sci-fi, come on!)

Last night while falling asleep I realized my dreams were of a billion tiny flowers, each providing a context for perpetually opening complexity, which viewed as a whole was breathtaking. From my perspective they were the flowers of a quilt that I painstakingly was appliqueing one at a time, made of billions of threads of cotton, manufactured and dyed, all by human hands from plants grown in sunlight and with water and tended by more human hands on a beautiful planet spinning within spinning galaxies.

So as glitchy as these entertainments are from my point of view, some things, important and awesome, never change. 🙂



Goodhearted Laughter Redux — The Blog of Funny Names

Welcome new readers and longtime fans. Thank you for following us during our Rave for Dave campaign to help Dave with his fight against cancer, because cancer is no laughing matter, or is it? Today I’m re-posting Goodhearted Laughter, because laughter is the best medicine–according to Reader’s Digest. Thanks again for your support! * * […]

via Goodhearted Laughter Redux — The Blog of Funny Names